Long Lost Love

Hold onto your heartstrings! Searching for an old flame online can be quite an interesting experience, and one that you should not dive into without thoroughly thinking it through before you send that first message. Remember that years have passed since you were together, and not only might you have a tendency to view the times that you shared together through rose colored glasses and “forget” the more unpleasant details of your relationship, you and your former sweetheart may have changed in many ways that could prevent a successful reunion.

One thing that you must take time to think about before reconnecting with someone that you were previously romantically involved with is why you would like to reconnect with them. This will help you to avoid sending mixed messages should you decide to contact them. Are you single, divorced, or widowed and wondering whether the relationship can be rekindled? Are you married or otherwise in a happy relationship and you just want to see how your former love is doing? Are you in a bad relationship and looking for a star to hitch your wagon to so that you can find the strength to leave? Your answer to this question will help you to determine whether or not to make contact, and to understand why you are doing so – or why you are choosing not to.

If you are single, divorced, or widowed, and you are able to determine that your old flame is similarly situated, go for it. Most social networking sites have a place on our profile where you can list your relationship status, so you should be able to know if they are available prior to making contact. Before you hit “send”, make sure that you are ready for the potential emotional consequences, which could be love, rejection, or something in between.

If you are currently married or in a committed relationship, it is not wise to look up your lost love at this time. Even if you think that your desire to contact your old flame is innocent, it can have potentially devastating consequences if you are currently involved in a relationship with someone else. Even the happiest marriage can fall prey to the affair that commonly arises after one spouse sends a well-intentioned email to a former love. The happily married person contacting their former love usually does not begin the contact with the intention of having an affair. Their spouse may even be aware of the contact and trust that nothing will happen. No one expects what happens next, and the contact that was so seemingly innocent at first winds up rekindling the flames of an old romance that burns everyone involved.

You may be in a relationship that is not going well. The potential of reconnecting with someone that you were involved with in the past may seem to hold the promise of a brighter future. Contacting your lost love while you are in a relationship may not be a wise idea. You’re already suffering enough emotionally, and the whirlwind of a reunion could cause even more heartache and confusion. If you need to get out of your current relationship, do that first. Friends and family will support you and give you the emotional support that you need to heal. Once you are single and have taken the time to heal from your previous relationship, you may be ready to look for love again and it could be time to look up your lost lover.